@_@

in the previous days, i discovered that there really are people who want to be a model. i mean, real people, people i talk with everday. l don't know, maybe i just thought that model wannabes are people i can't get along with,ie, bitches & narcissists.

i don't know which surprised me more, the fact that they want to be models, or the fact that they are serious about it. and i mean agent-searching & go see-craving serious.

maybe i've become a tad too cynical. maybe i've stopped believing that dreams do come true & it wouldn't hurt if we do something that might up our chances of making our dreams happen.

at different points in my life i've had varying dreams, most of them now in limbo. i've become inured to the most painful feeling of self-disappointment, wanting something so badly in the first few weeks & then suddenly just letting it go, as if i've been scorched by my own hopelessness.

i still have dreams, yes. but the sad thing is that i have slowly accepted the possibility that there's a line between reality & wishful thinking, & i was crossing it.

& so i start thinking again, of the dreams past & all that jazz.